didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
