I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
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