just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
