dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
