Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
do herpes really smell.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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