He kissed a someone with a penis
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
