whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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