I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
