I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you win again, gameday.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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