we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
