so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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