That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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