covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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