so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
