i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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