oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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