i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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