I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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