Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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