Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
