so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
