Cold hands, warm shart.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
