Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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