Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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