Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
