Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We're too hungover to prance.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
