Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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