at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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