I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
