Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
