someone get that fucking seahorse.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
