i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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