I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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