I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
