I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
