at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
