She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do vagina's smell?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize