After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
