I think I died a long time ago.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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