just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
