i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
