Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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