what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
