There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
These tits shall not be calmed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
