I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
