The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Moan for me like Helen Keller
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
