Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
