ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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