rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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