that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
