I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
