Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
