Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
